Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Caption Contest


Yea, I'm doing the drywall down at the new McDonald's
Watchout for your cornhole, dude.
Two chicks at the same time. I reckon if I had a million bucks I could make that happen
Don't F*ck with Mister Zero
Mister Zero knew you were getting a divorce before you did? Mister Zero knew.
Who wants to go for a mustache ride?



Monday night I decided to shave the beard. With all the running this year, it seems to be in the way more and harder to maintain. While I normally stay covered throughout the winter, I decided to cut back this year just for fun. Then Wifey talked me into this silly mustache for a few days. This is only a joke, Morgan and I are going to have a good laugh about it whenever I can get over to his house to fix his computer, then it's gone. In the meantime, we are having a good laugh about it. Some folks from the office want me to keep it until the company holiday party in a few weeks, but I'm not sure I can hold out that long. In the meantime, I think it's pretty funny.


Most of the time, a mustache makes a guy look like a pedophile. But you can't tell him that unless you preface it with "no offense, but" because then you won't get your ass kicked. But with the magic of "no offense" you are kind of safe. I dare you, find someone who is not a cop but still has a mustache, and tell him "no offense, but that mustache really makes you look like a pedophile". That guy will want to kick your ass, but is contractually obligated not to thanks to the No Offense Code. It's kind of like the Bro Code.


So I need a better caption for that picture. All I can come up with is the movie quotes listed below the pic. I have no idea what the prize will be, but I'll pick the best caption you come up with and send you something. There is also a second place prize for the first person to name all three movies that those quotes came from. The first two movies should be obvious, but the mustache ride thing is a little more obscure. But I have to go back to the office people with something better than just those movie quotes to see if I can stretch out the laughs for another day or two. Here's another one, just in case you need more inspiration:



Strangers have the best candy

Anything? This guy drives a dirty work van with no windows like the janitor from Scrubs. He lost a strange battle with fried cheese last year. gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!

I promise the prizes will be cool. I'll come up with something decent. Maybe even an autographed print of one of these pics!

13 comments:

Rural Girl said...

The sideburns are definitely what throw the look over the edge! I'm thinking the BAD edge! :)

Mendy said...

That is so funny! When hubby is shaving off his growth, he will leave just a mustache (but only for a few minutes). It looks AWFUL - exactly like a pedophile. Horrible....

Marcy said...

Dude, that's like a porn star circa the 1970's. ROFLMAO HAHAHAAA

Jess said...

HAHAH wow those pics are hilarious...

as for a caption...

"I swear I don't like small children."

Viper said...

Sad news about the beard.

Caption: "Mind if I tickle your pickle?"

the gazelle said...

that is pretty bad. I can't even come up with a clever caption. I'm kinda skeeved out (no offense).

Wes said...

I can't even grow a mustache, much less a beard. How about, Would you like to come down to my basement for a popsicle? :-)

Girl on Top said...

Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?

Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!

Sarah said...

New caption: I'm the ultimate Latin Lover. There ain't no Latin Lover like me.

Ryan said...

Let me preface this with, "No Offense."

Ok?

Good!

I was assuming you had a mustache to hide the stretch marks (around your mouth) from when you were gay! ;-0

Or....

You were posing as a French Woman!

Frayed Laces said...

I think now would be the perfect time to approach the local school system to volunteer as a substitute teacher

David said...

"Hey man, how much you want for that Monte Carlo with the t-tops?"

Sun Runner said...

"Well, the type that double up on a guy like me do."

Nice Office Space and WHMS references.

Sorry for all the random commenting on really old posts, but Google Reader makes it soooo easy to just roll through someone's back blogalog.

Don't fuck with Mister Zero!